Insomnia and an overactive mind: how to stop the cycle that keeps you up at night

Insomnia can feel like a cruel trap. You’re exhausted after a long day, but the moment your head hits the pillow, your brain revs up like a racecar engine. Why does this happen, and more importantly, how can you stop this cycle and enjoy peaceful, restful nights again?

It’s a frustrating paradox many of us face, but understanding the reasons behind it offers real hope. Let’s dive into the science and practical habits that can help you reclaim your sleep.

Why your brain resists shutting down at bedtime

Your mind thrives on clear signals, but many people unknowingly confuse their brains by turning their beds into multi-purpose zones. Whether it’s working on your laptop, scrolling social media, or binge-watching shows, these activities send a mixed message: your bedroom becomes a place for alertness and stimulation—not rest.

Dr. Roser Gort, a sleep psychologist, explains that this conflict tricks the brain into staying alert. Instead of associating bed with calm and sleep, your brain learns to expect activity. So when it’s finally time to rest, your mind keeps racing through the day’s events or tomorrow’s to-do list, making sleep nearly impossible.

The temptation to just lay there and “try harder” to fall asleep actually backfires. It builds up frustration and keeps your brain in overdrive instead of letting it relax. This creates a vicious cycle where the bed feels like a place of anxiety rather than comfort.

Simple bedtime habits to reset your sleep routine

Breaking free from this pattern starts with retraining your brain. The bed should have just two roles: sleep and intimacy. If, after about 20 minutes, you’re not asleep, don’t force it. Get up and move to another room.

Choose a space with gentle, warm lighting and a peaceful vibe. Reading a physical book, listening to soft music, or tuning into a calm radio show can help soothe your mind. But avoid screens—the blue light they emit blocks melatonin, the hormone that signals your body it’s time for sleep.

By shifting your focus away from the struggle to fall asleep, your brain can unwind more naturally. Eventually, as you start to feel genuinely tired, head back to bed. It might take repeating this a few times, but patience here pays off with deeper, more refreshing sleep.

I once tried this simple switch when insomnia hit me like a freight train during a stressful month. At first, it was frustrating to get out of bed repeatedly, but sticking with it felt like gently coaxing my mind off a tightrope. After a week, I started falling asleep more calmly and waking up more energized.

Understanding sleep cycles to improve rest quality

Sleep isn’t just about clocking hours; it’s about quality and rhythm. According to the Sleep Foundation, your body builds up something called sleep pressure the longer you stay awake. This pressure grows, urging you to rest, and when you finally do, the pressure dissipates.

Your night’s rest happens in cycles lasting about 90 minutes each, alternating between different stages. The deep sleep part of the cycle (called slow-wave sleep or NREM) is when your body repairs itself and your immune system gets stronger. Later, your brain enters the REM phase where memory consolidates and dreams loom vivid and intense.

This is why brief naps often leave you feeling groggy—if you wake in the middle of a cycle, you disrupt these vital processes. A full 90-minute nap actually completes a cycle, helping you feel refreshed rather than sluggish.

Understanding this biological rhythm changed my approach to rest. I stopped beating myself up for needing naps and instead embraced full cycles, which improved how I felt physically and mentally.

Do you struggle with your mind racing at bedtime too? What tricks have you tried that worked or didn’t? Share your experiences below, and let’s create a community of support where restful nights can become the norm. If you found this helpful, share it with someone who could use a good night’s sleep!