Some people just canโt help but make everything about themselves.
You know the typeโalways shifting the spotlight, redirecting the conversation, or finding a way to turn your story into theirs. Most of the time, they donโt even realize theyโre doing it.
But you feel it. The disconnect. The subtle drain. That sense that no matter whatโs being discussed, it always circles back to them.
It doesnโt take yelling or arrogance to be self-centered. Sometimes, it hides in plain sightโin the everyday phrases they use without thinking.
Here are 8 things self-centered people often say that quietly reveal where their focus really is.
1) โLet me tell you what happened to meโฆโ
Youโre halfway through sharing something importantโmaybe a rough day or a personal winโwhen they jump in with their own story.
Itโs not always malicious, but the timing says it all. A self-centered person listens just long enough to cue up their own tale. Theyโre not adding to the momentโtheyโre redirecting it.
2) โI would never do that.โ
This often comes out as judgment disguised as opinion. You share a parenting decision, a dating choice, or even a small personal habitโand instead of support, you get โWell, Iโd never.โ
Itโs less about learning and more about showing superiority. Their way, their lens, their worldviewโall on display.
3) โThat reminds me of when Iโฆโ
You say, โIโve been feeling really overwhelmed lately.โ They reply, โYeah, that reminds me of when I was working two jobs in collegeโฆโ
Before long, the conversation shifts completely to their experience. Even if they donโt mean harm, the pattern is clear: every moment becomes a stepping stone to their story.
4) โIโm just being honest.โ
Thereโs a difference between honesty and bluntness born from ego. Self-centered people often use this phrase to justify unsolicited opinions or comments that serve no one but themselves.
โIโm just being honestโ often really means, โI want to say this, and I donโt care how it lands.โ
5) โI already knew that.โ
This pops up when someone else shares something valuable or insightful. Instead of appreciating it, the self-centered person steps in to assert dominance.
Itโs another way of saying, โDonโt forgetโIโm the smart one here.โ
6) โYou should have asked me first.โ
This phrase reasserts their need to be at the center of every decision. Rather than supporting a good idea, they want control and recognition.
Itโs not about collaborationโitโs about keeping the focus on themselves.
7) โWhy didnโt you include me?โ
Sometimes people get left outโit happens. But a self-centered person takes it as a personal slight every time.
Often, itโs less about hurt feelings and more about control. Theyโre uncomfortable not being the focus, even when itโs unrelated to them.
8) โIโve been so busyโฆโ
We all get busy. But when someone constantly leads with how overwhelmed or in-demand they areโwithout asking about youโitโs telling.
For them, โIโve been so busyโ is both a brag and an excuse, a way to remind you of their importance while dodging reciprocity.
Final thought
Self-centeredness doesnโt always show up as loud arrogance. Sometimes, itโs tucked into everyday languageโthe way someone shifts a conversation, minimizes your feelings, or redirects the spotlight.
Weโve all had moments of being too focused on ourselvesโthatโs human. But when itโs a pattern, especially in someone who rarely asks, listens, or makes space for others, it wears people down.
If these phrases sound familiarโwhether from someone else or your own mouthโpause and reflect. Real connection starts with curiosity, not self-absorption.
I lived with a man like this. And walked away. After 36 years. Wanted me too dout my sanity. A Narcisstics cruel manTra aswell.
I’m so sorry he treated 6ou that way. Congratulations on recognizing it, standing up for yourself and getting out.
Itโs nice to review what comments not to say, as we seem to show immaturity and reflect self- centeredness. Our culture, as a whole, needs to groom us to be more caring and reach out to friends in need!
Yes! Great comment.
Dealing with a narcissist manager that took my previous awesome manager’s place. Two very different management styles, cannot get a word in with this one, her mantra is ‘not going to apologize for being real’
OMG I had one like this. I said, with my forefinger pointing up, โIโm not finished with my thoughtโ. First person to ever challenge her. I did end up finding another job as soon as I could. I did also find out that the entire staff had walked out TWICE before I started. (Major hospital corporation family medicine office). Why do employers keep these people on?!!!!!
This is the sort of thing that should be taught in school, like active listening. They arenโt innate and must be taught.
Yes! Many are caught in a paradigm, behaving as they saw modeled. They really donโt know any better until their selfish behavior is pointed out. One of the best โteachersโ Iโve had was a close friend who pointed out one of my faults, gifting me actually. It didnโt feel good at the time, but Iโm a better person for it.
I like the word listening. It takes more than hearing. It takes sight, heart and soul.
Short comment? I’m saving this artical.
Pontification comment: Because this is the first one of these clikBait “IF they do this then they’re ‘that'” articles that made me laugh, mainly because its true butt also because we live in a world of narcissistic influences.
And, I suppose we always have. Me? I’m commiting these phrases to memory and going to use one or two of them a day. It’s called camouflage.