Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where someone just can’t stop interrupting? It’s frustrating, right? But before labeling them as rude or egocentric, psychology offers a deeper insight into why this happens. Interrupting isn’t always about disrespect—sometimes, it’s a complex mix of brain activity, emotions, and social experience.
Why people frequently interrupt conversations according to psychology
When we talk about interruption, many immediately think it’s just bad manners or selfishness. Yet, research in psychology reveals a more nuanced picture. Our brains work in fascinating ways when we engage in conversation. For instance, the temporal lobe processes language and understanding, while the prefrontal cortex helps us anticipate and plan what to say next.
Often, people start formulating their responses before the other has finished speaking. This is typically an unconscious reaction. Many don’t even realize they’ve interrupted until right after it happens! Psychologists explain that the urge to interrupt usually isn’t about trying to impose one’s opinion. Instead, it’s often fueled by a genuine desire to contribute something relevant, especially if the topic reminds them of a personal experience.
Sometimes context plays a big role too. Our working memory, which holds information temporarily, can only carry so much. If someone fears forgetting their point, they might cut in quickly to share it. This is especially true for people who feel anxious or find themselves in high-pressure settings like meetings or debates.
How constant interruptions affect relationships and work
In personal relationships, constant interruptions can strain emotional connections. When a person feels like their thoughts aren’t fully heard or they’re repeatedly cut off, frustration builds. This can gradually create emotional distance, even between close partners or family members.
In the workplace, the impact can be just as significant. Meetings often become dominated by the loudest voices, pushing more reserved colleagues into silence out of fear of being interrupted. Psychologists warn that this dynamic stifles diversity of ideas and hampers productive discussions.
Interrupting superiors, coworkers, or clients can also come off as unprofessional. Experts from the Berkeley Wellness Institute emphasize that such behavior can damage personal reputation and team spirit. It sends a message of ego and disregard, which can sour relationships and cooperation.
What you can learn from the psychology of interruptions
Reflecting on this, I remember a time when I was in a group discussion and kept rushing to share my point, only to realize I was unintentionally cutting others off. Once I became aware of it, I made a conscious effort to listen more patiently and hold back until the speaker finished. The conversations improved, and so did my relationships with those around me.
The lesson here is simple yet powerful: interruptions often stem from an eagerness to connect and contribute, not just rudeness. But being aware of this tendency helps us practice empathy and respect in our conversations. Whenever you catch yourself about to interrupt, pause and ask, “Is what I’m about to say worth breaking this person’s flow?” Sometimes the best contribution is listening.
What’s your experience with interruptions—have you noticed any moments when standing back improved the talk? Or do you find yourself frequently jumping in? Share your stories below, and let’s explore together how to foster more meaningful conversations in our daily lives!
This is actually something I’ve been working on personally recently. It drives me crazy when I do it and for a long time I couldn’t catch myself doing it. Now, I actually practice what this article says and it has actually improved some of my relationships but I still have work to do with new relationships as I’ve noticed I tend to do it more when. Im meeting new people and trying to get to know them its as if im trying to show that Im smart enough to understand what they are going to say before they say it but im coming off as I don’t want to hear them talk.
As a 72yo woman diagnosed w/ADHD at the age of 5; I can attest that constant interruptions is a very common trait of ADHD and/or on the “Spectrum.” If you weren’t diagnosed as a child, it’s harder to identify.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at aged 41. I had been interrupting all of my life, but it wasn’t until I started treatment that I realized it! I knew it was rude, so I tried to curb that behavior. At work meetings, when a thought I thought would be helpful to the discussion shot through my mind, I reminded myself to wait until the speaker had finished. However, inevitably, by the time I had an opportunity to speak, I had already forgotten what I had planned to say. Now I always have writing materials at hand so I can write down my idea so when my turn to speak comes, I still have access to that thought.
Very informative and enlightening
What to do when someone butts in and talkes over you all the time and when you try to speak they take faster so you can’t speak. Very frustrating
I always thought my interrupting was an impulse disorder. I, quite literally, do not mean to interrupt. It just blurts out of me. I am aware it hurts my relationships. With people I love and let my guard down with its impossible for me to “pause”. It’s a terrible affliction. I hate this about myself.
I am the same way. I feel like it’s ruining my relationship
What to do when the spouse DOMINATES the convo and dies not have the time and/or criticize your response.
Don’t hate yourself tho, ok? Just try to be more aware of yourself- and if you do interrupt, say – oh sorry , I interrupted, please go on. Acknowledging the interruption takes the sting out of it. 💙
Sounds like ADHD to me. Learning to stop interrupting a conversation is very hard to control but you can learn. It’s a compulsion that is not done on purpose but few people understand once you are an adult. No sympathy, no understanding, no tolerance from adults. Especially frustrating is many Special Education teachers have no understanding that ADHD never goes away, we just have to learn to “fit in.”
I do it it’s awful I try not too and I’m really not being rude I’m trying and it’s true listening is better lol
Thanks for this. I am one of those people that wants to contribute but louder more opinionated people often try to hog the conversation. I know I interrupt for these reasons, 1. To be heard 2. To contribute something relevant. 3. I am afraid the context will change as conversations evolve (often the dominant talker doesn’t give me a chance to add a point before the context changes) 4. Out of enthusiasm. People moan about those who interrupt but some of us never have a chance to make any points. If we should not interrupt, there should be more consideration given to others who may like to contribute. I do not ever mean to be rude.
❤️
Yes, that is me, too. Sometimes I wait, but then it is too late to contribute, or I might never be given space to engage, so I’ve become more aggressive about using my voice, though I can tell others are sometimes miffed when I do. I am trying to reverse this and engage with more grace…
I read the article looking for this point you’ve made. Some people are actually rude and completely dominate the conversation. What does one do when they never pause or read the room to stop talking? Or the people who when they do “allow” someone to talk they express zero interest in others.
I had a friend who would cut me off and turn my conversation into her’s. What ever I said she’d cut in and would have the same experience as myself but ramble on and on until i couldn’t talk anymore. She would only tell me of her problems and wouldn’t listen to mine. I walked away from this friend of 40 yes because she wouldn’t listen she had bigger and better stories. It was a one way friendship as I , me me me.
It also is a cultural difference. I grew up in a low socioeconomic neighborhood. To “interrupt” was not rude, in fact it implied a close relationship. Moving into the work world was a shock. Finally someone from a similar background to mine explained the difference in the work culture. It was a great help that I was taught to code switch!
That was very introspective. I often wonder how all of your cultures are ever going to mesh but if people were introspective like you at would be a better world.
My husband interrupts me all the time & completely off topic. He doesn’t even realize he’s even interrupted. Drives me crazy. To the point when he does interrupt off topic I answer *chicken verb cantaloupe* & walk away. He’s 85 & we’ve been married 40 years. The older he gets, the more he interrupts.
I interrupt my daughter all the time. I’ve come to realize that I’m trying to hurry her along and get to the point because she can be very long winded. My bad.
I find that most people don’t listen well I need to be interrupted early in the conversation or you will spend a long time listening to a story that isn’t relevant to what you said. Because they listen through the filter of their own experiences or trauma and go down the wrong track when they answer because they were triggered and got stuck on the word or two instead of listening to the context of what was being said.
I can immediately tell by their response that they misunderstood what I said and are going down a rabbit hole, instead of responding to exactly what was said objectively.
It is painful to have to listen to a long story about something that has nothing to do with what I said. So my brain jumps in to try avoid having to listen to something that is not relevant to what I expressed. I try to correct the perspective so that I don’t have to go down the rabbit hole with them. But this usually makes the other person angry or feel like I don’t want listen. Meanwhile, I’m angry becauseI’m talking to a person who doesn’t respond well because they don’t know how to listen well.
Sometimes listening to what to what the person who is interrupting is saying instead of being defensive can make all the difference in the conversation being productive.
Another thing I don’t understand is when there you have an issue with someone who has been hard to get to listen to you. And you finally get an opportunity to express it, but it takes some time to get it out. I don’t understand why the person responds with I listen to you for 20 minutes now let me talk as opposed to responding with the sentiment of what you expressed to them. I would love to write an article about that. Why are you looking at the clock when I’m pouring my heart out? And there again, their response is irrelevant to what I expressed.
It’s not what you say, but how you say it. You can prep the whole convo with a couple of gentle, kind, parameters. I’m interested in anything you want to tell me, I love hearing your voice. Could we stay on this one topic for a few minutes so I don’t lose track of my thoughts? ….. something along those lines.
maybe that’s because you seem a bit long winded
How do you politely tell a friend to stop when you can’t get a word in to talk
I’ve interrupted the interruptor and said, let so and so finish her point, In a meeting.
I would like to read some good suggestions on how to personally interrupt the interruptor to finish my point. It’s usually a matter of only a few sentences.
I say “hear me out, please”. That helps most of the time.
Often, from my personal experience, I might interrupt to more clearly understand a minor detail that is building the other person’s thoughts, a way to fine tune my understanding of exactly what they are trying to say, also demonstrating how closely I am truly ” hanging” on each word they are saying.
I always remember the phrase, “Listen to hear,not to respond.” It helps tremendously — especially when someone really needs to get something off their chest.
I only interrupt when the person speaking is taking 30+ minutes to say something they could easily say in 10 minutes. If I don’t respond then I’ll lose track of so called conversation. I hold off as long as possible but still am considered interrupting when I think it’s an exchange of ideas, a real conversation goes between each person. Otherwise it feels like they are monologuing. If I’m being rude then it’s only with this one person.
I have a boss that is always super busy and rarely has time to meet with or talk to me. Every conversation ends up being super rushed. She’ll often talk at me without giving me the opportunity to respond, and then either changes topics or ends the conversation. Sometimes I need to communicate questions I have, or tell her information about a project she might not be aware of. But she rarely lets me speak. I don’t know how to talk to her without interrupting, especially if she starts talking about something incorrect because she doesn’t have all the info because she won’t let me talk, or doesn’t have time to fully listen to me. And every time I do talk, I feel so anxious and rushed.
I have the same issue with my boss, so I rely on email to keep him updated on projects. As projects move along, I’ll reply to the original email with updates, always closing with, “Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions”. Not only does this memorialize, it provides an opportunity for him to digest and respond, which he often does. It’s been working well! Hope this helps!
As a person with ADHD I struggle to hold attention on what the person is saying while looking at their body language, think my own thoughts and also have to deal with distractions (sounds, smells, sights, etc.).
This I am struggling to keep track of my own thoughts, ideas, feedback to the other person’s communication. I interrupt and blurt it out to make sure I don’t lose the thread of what I need to say!
The only solutions I have found are to give up trying and just listen (not participate), raise my hand when I have something important to say and hopefully remember what it was, or write notes so I can run through my questions and feedback at the end.
ADHD means I have maybe 10% of your attention capacity. I don’t interrupt because I think I’m more important than you, it’s because I can’t hold all the important things in my attention at once. Telling me to “just pay attention” doesn’t work.
I have long thought that my husband’s excessive talking and interrupting was an attempt to connect. Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect. It alienates him and no one wants to be around him. It is detrimental to our relationship as well. You cannot connect to someone who never hears you.
It was interesting that this article confirms that it is not ego driven or malicious. Sadly, it does not change the consequences.
I do interrupt people especially when the person is trying the come up with the right word and I supply the word instead of waiting for them to find the word/s themselves. It must be so annoying for the other person 🙄
It’s lucky they have a mr or Mrs speaker in leinster House to me it’s moreso to quell the ignorance
I’m definitely an interruption. I often find it do it to people who speak without first formulating their own point or meander off topic. I do try to be patient but sadly, I’m a bully when having conversations with certain people.
My husband and adult son interrupt me all the time. I will try to say something twice and then drop it. I will ask for help twice, then just do it myself. Because nobody gives an eff about what I’m trying to say. Sigh.
For me it’s because I’m always afraid that I’m going to forget what my thought was at that time. For some reason, I’m in the beginning stages of where I’m forgetting lots of things. In fact, my poor husband probably is tired of me asking what day it is all the time. Sometimes I even forget to put an appointment in my calendar. Also, there are times when I forget that I need to go and get some shopping done for my dad or even for my own home for that matter. The list goes on for me. It could be all day telling you all kinds of things, but I don’t think that would really help matters much.
Deborah Tannen wrote about the cultural aspect of “interrupting” in her book “You Just Don’t Understand”. She points out that many cultures have a more overlapping conversational style, where speakers chime in to build connection by adding to the topic at hand. It’s a fascinating perspective.