If someone keeps bringing up certain topics in conversation, it could be a sign they struggle with social skills. These skills are essential for forming healthy relationships, expressing ourselves clearly, and navigating different social settings smoothly. Yet, many people face challenges in this area due to factors like shyness, insecurity, or emotional difficulties.
When a person with poor social skills talks, the way they choose subjects often reveals more than just their interests—it exposes the hurdles they face in connecting with others. Understanding these patterns can help us respond with empathy and patience.
How talking about oneself reveals social skill challenges
One of the most visible signs of limited social skills is a conversation dominated by talk about oneself. People in this situation often focus extensively on their personal achievements, problems, likes, and habits, without making room for others to share.
This isn’t necessarily rooted in narcissism. More often, it reflects a lack of tools to create a balanced dialogue. When someone doesn’t know how to engage others with genuine interest or curious questions, they rely on their own stories to keep the conversation going.
According to the European Institute of Positive Psychology, this kind of one-sided talking can build emotional walls. When listeners don’t feel heard, it’s difficult to build trust or meaningful connections. Learning to actively listen and show sincere interest in others can make all the difference.
The impact of negativity and constant complaints on social interactions
Another common trait among those with social difficulties is a persistent negative tone. They tend to focus on frustrations, injustices, and everything that seems wrong with the world around them.
This negative outlook often comes from inner struggles like anxiety or low self-esteem. Constant complaints can drain the energy from a conversation and unintentionally push others away, even if the speaker is simply trying to express their feelings or seek validation.
I remember a friend who often vented about their hardships in an almost constant stream. While it helped them unload stress, for others it became a barrier to real connection. It taught me the importance of balancing honest sharing with openness to others’ perspectives—something we all can practice.
why sudden topic changes signal social discomfort
People who have a hard time with social skills may also jump abruptly between unrelated conversation topics. Without smooth transitions, this can confuse and frustrate everyone involved.
Such behavior often signals nervousness or difficulty maintaining active listening. It can also indicate a struggle to participate in a shared flow of dialogue. Breaking the conversational flow by changing subjects creates an impression of disinterest and can leave others feeling disconnected.
Staying on topic and respecting conversational turns might seem small, but these are vital skills for healthy communication. If you’ve ever found yourself lost in a chat because topics kept shifting wildly, you know how challenging it can be to stay engaged.
Building better conversations through curiosity and feedback
One key to more meaningful conversations is the ability to ask open-ended questions and give feedback that encourages others to share. But people lacking social skills often struggle with this, responding instead with short answers or long monologues that leave little room for real exchange.
Creating a genuine back-and-forth takes effort and practice. Valuing what others say, asking questions that invite them to open up, and expressing agreement or disagreement respectfully all foster stronger connections.
From my own experience, I learned that simply asking “What do you think about that?” or “How did that make you feel?” can turn a dull exchange into a lively, rewarding talk. These small steps can help anyone become a better communicator.
Have you noticed these patterns in conversations with friends, family, or coworkers? Do you sometimes catch yourself doing this? Sharing your experiences can help us all become more aware and improve how we connect. Feel free to leave a comment or share this article if it struck a chord with you. Let’s keep the conversation going!
I can totally relate to your article, this is me through and through, also my twin sister has a great deal of anger and aggression in her every day life and suffers with many different mental health issues – is there any further advice you can offer i.e getting professional help with a consultant?
Very interesting point of view.
I agree with most of this article.
I found myself and my friends doing the things you described.
I’d like to see more articles like that.
Thanks
Excellent…let us connect
This analysis is completely wrong without considering the cultural background of each person. Social skills is all about being comfortable with who you are talking with with.
Another thing you need to put into consideration is that one of the best way to create conversation in public is to speak of yourself and not of someone else. In fact, speaking about someone else who is not presenting is called gossip.
So when someone speaks more of themselves in a conversation proofs that they are confident of themselves and if the other persons can’t interject, it means the problem is the people whom they are talking with and not the speaker.
I enjoy conversations to open people up and then learn a lot from their life experiences.. it’s amazing to enjoy and learn just opening them up. I learned some valuable things from complete strangers. A genuine happy smile opens the conversation.
Interesting ..
I’m 71 year old male who has been pretty much isolated for awhile except for Twitter Facebook etc. And need to get back in communication with family and friends ..
Boring non analytical viewpoints. Everyone is interested in their own movie. Some are Prima. Donnas and other are engaging actors great at their lines and interactive with co stars . T.S Elliot’s Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock ” prepare the face to meet the faces that We meet”
Every word mentioned throughout your article has tremendous impact for people as myself, and others who struggle with social skills, such as communication. Thank you.
I’ve been told my social skills are lacking since my accident it feels like I really don’t have anything to really talk about. My accident left me without my carrier I was in construction and now iam disabled and very bitter.
You’ve certainly struck a chord. I now understand that my discretion, my silent demeanor, my keeping quiet were actually due to shyness, insecurity and low self esteem. Not engaging in spontaneous conversation or just plain talk madd me miss hundreds of opportunities as I was distant- unapprocheable and professionally lacking the HR qualities any salesman or leader would excel in – A new start for me! Thanks a million from Salento coast, Apulia IT Stuart
Surprising how many people are lacking basic social skills. Active listing seems to be a thing of the past. This article hit home. I greatly appreciate the art of wholesome conversation.