8 phrases self-centered people use in everyday conversation

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Some people just canโ€™t help but make everything about themselves.

You know the typeโ€”always shifting the spotlight, redirecting the conversation, or finding a way to turn your story into theirs. Most of the time, they donโ€™t even realize theyโ€™re doing it.

But you feel it. The disconnect. The subtle drain. That sense that no matter whatโ€™s being discussed, it always circles back to them.

It doesnโ€™t take yelling or arrogance to be self-centered. Sometimes, it hides in plain sightโ€”in the everyday phrases they use without thinking.

Here are 8 things self-centered people often say that quietly reveal where their focus really is.

1) โ€œLet me tell you what happened to meโ€ฆโ€

Youโ€™re halfway through sharing something importantโ€”maybe a rough day or a personal winโ€”when they jump in with their own story.

Itโ€™s not always malicious, but the timing says it all. A self-centered person listens just long enough to cue up their own tale. Theyโ€™re not adding to the momentโ€”theyโ€™re redirecting it.

2) โ€œI would never do that.โ€

This often comes out as judgment disguised as opinion. You share a parenting decision, a dating choice, or even a small personal habitโ€”and instead of support, you get โ€œWell, Iโ€™d never.โ€

Itโ€™s less about learning and more about showing superiority. Their way, their lens, their worldviewโ€”all on display.

3) โ€œThat reminds me of when Iโ€ฆโ€

You say, โ€œIโ€™ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately.โ€ They reply, โ€œYeah, that reminds me of when I was working two jobs in collegeโ€ฆโ€

Before long, the conversation shifts completely to their experience. Even if they donโ€™t mean harm, the pattern is clear: every moment becomes a stepping stone to their story.

4) โ€œIโ€™m just being honest.โ€

Thereโ€™s a difference between honesty and bluntness born from ego. Self-centered people often use this phrase to justify unsolicited opinions or comments that serve no one but themselves.

โ€œIโ€™m just being honestโ€ often really means, โ€œI want to say this, and I donโ€™t care how it lands.โ€

5) โ€œI already knew that.โ€

This pops up when someone else shares something valuable or insightful. Instead of appreciating it, the self-centered person steps in to assert dominance.

Itโ€™s another way of saying, โ€œDonโ€™t forgetโ€”Iโ€™m the smart one here.โ€

6) โ€œYou should have asked me first.โ€

This phrase reasserts their need to be at the center of every decision. Rather than supporting a good idea, they want control and recognition.

Itโ€™s not about collaborationโ€”itโ€™s about keeping the focus on themselves.

7) โ€œWhy didnโ€™t you include me?โ€

Sometimes people get left outโ€”it happens. But a self-centered person takes it as a personal slight every time.

Often, itโ€™s less about hurt feelings and more about control. Theyโ€™re uncomfortable not being the focus, even when itโ€™s unrelated to them.

8) โ€œIโ€™ve been so busyโ€ฆโ€

We all get busy. But when someone constantly leads with how overwhelmed or in-demand they areโ€”without asking about youโ€”itโ€™s telling.

For them, โ€œIโ€™ve been so busyโ€ is both a brag and an excuse, a way to remind you of their importance while dodging reciprocity.

Final thought

Self-centeredness doesnโ€™t always show up as loud arrogance. Sometimes, itโ€™s tucked into everyday languageโ€”the way someone shifts a conversation, minimizes your feelings, or redirects the spotlight.

Weโ€™ve all had moments of being too focused on ourselvesโ€”thatโ€™s human. But when itโ€™s a pattern, especially in someone who rarely asks, listens, or makes space for others, it wears people down.

If these phrases sound familiarโ€”whether from someone else or your own mouthโ€”pause and reflect. Real connection starts with curiosity, not self-absorption.

10 thoughts on “8 phrases self-centered people use in everyday conversation”

  1. I lived with a man like this. And walked away. After 36 years. Wanted me too dout my sanity. A Narcisstics cruel manTra aswell.

    Reply
    • I’m so sorry he treated 6ou that way. Congratulations on recognizing it, standing up for yourself and getting out.

      Reply
  2. Itโ€™s nice to review what comments not to say, as we seem to show immaturity and reflect self- centeredness. Our culture, as a whole, needs to groom us to be more caring and reach out to friends in need!

    Reply
  3. Dealing with a narcissist manager that took my previous awesome manager’s place. Two very different management styles, cannot get a word in with this one, her mantra is ‘not going to apologize for being real’

    Reply
    • OMG I had one like this. I said, with my forefinger pointing up, โ€œIโ€™m not finished with my thoughtโ€. First person to ever challenge her. I did end up finding another job as soon as I could. I did also find out that the entire staff had walked out TWICE before I started. (Major hospital corporation family medicine office). Why do employers keep these people on?!!!!!

      Reply
  4. This is the sort of thing that should be taught in school, like active listening. They arenโ€™t innate and must be taught.

    Reply
    • Yes! Many are caught in a paradigm, behaving as they saw modeled. They really donโ€™t know any better until their selfish behavior is pointed out. One of the best โ€œteachersโ€ Iโ€™ve had was a close friend who pointed out one of my faults, gifting me actually. It didnโ€™t feel good at the time, but Iโ€™m a better person for it.

      Reply
  5. Short comment? I’m saving this artical.

    Pontification comment: Because this is the first one of these clikBait “IF they do this then they’re ‘that'” articles that made me laugh, mainly because its true butt also because we live in a world of narcissistic influences.
    And, I suppose we always have. Me? I’m commiting these phrases to memory and going to use one or two of them a day. It’s called camouflage.

    Reply

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